Detroit Muscle Update


Contribution by: Dennis Beamer

 In my last post I predicted a 2nd round head kick knockout from “The Detroit Superstar” at UFC on Fox 10. With 15 seconds left on the clock in Round 2 Cruickshank nearly made me look like a fortune teller. He landed a devastating spinning Head Kick to his opponent, nearly scoring the KO. The fight was stopped by referee Herb Dean shortly after the kick from a flurry of punches landed by Cruickshank. Cruickshank also showed his ability to fight thru adversity earlier in the fight, when he appeared to nearly get submitted by a Heal Hook from Rio. Other than the Heal Hook the fight was dominated by Cruickshank. Without a doubt this was one of Cruickshank’s best performances in the Octagon.  Cruickshank has set a goal for four fights and four wins in 2014. With his latest performance I will be eagerly waiting to see who is next for the Detroiter.

Daron Cruickshank vs. Mike Rio 2

Results for UFC on Fox 10:


George Sullivan defeats Mike Rhodes via Unanimous Decision

Daron Cruickshank defeats Mike Rio via TKO (Kick, Punches) at 4:56 in Round 2

Hugo Viana defeats Ramiro Hernandez via Unanimous Decision

Chico Camus defeats Yaotzin Meza via Unanimous Decision

Eddie Wineland defeats Yves Jabouin via TKO (Punches) at 4:16 in Round 2

Alex Caceres defeats Sergio Pettis via Submission (Rear-Naked Choke)


Jeremy Stephans defeats Darren Elkins via Unanimous Decision

Donald Cerrone defeats Adriano Martins via Knockout (Head Kick) at 4:40 in Round 1

Stipe Miocic defeats Gabrial Gonzaga via Unanimous Decision

Benson Henderson defeats Josh Thompson via Split Decision


Tribute to Walter Herrmann

Contribution by: A. Fletcher

Walter Herrmann, also known by his official NBA nickname, “Brady Bunch”, with a last known height and weight of 6’9” – 225 lbs., was a PF in the NBA for about 3 seconds. He was born in Santa Fe Argentina, but is of a proclaimed German lineage. Dude was an absolute all-star in Argentina, winning two dunk contests and bringing the Argentina national team to a gold medal in the 2004 Olympics. He won a couple MVPs in Argentina, then moved to play for a club in Spain, and won another MVP there. From Spain Brady Bunch was brought to NBA by signing a one-year deal with the Charlotte Bobcats. He eventually lands himself in Auburn Hills on a 07 Detroit Pistons squad.

I feel obligated to reveal how much he made in the NBA:

2006 – 2007: $1,800,000

2007 – 2008: $1,944,000

2008 – 2009: $2,000,000

This is the same Pistons team that felt Arron Aflfalo’s  $1,015,440 salary was too expensive…

The point of this column is not really about Walter Herrmann’s history, where he’s been or where he is at now, how much money he made, or that he looked very similar to Fabio…lol.

Herrmann v. Fabio

But more to highlight and pay tribute to this mans uncanny ability to pop 3 pointers and get to the hoop with more style than most successful NBA players (obviously Brady Bunch wasn’t successful).

Even if you don’t know who Walter Herrmann is, a.k.a. Brady Bunch, or what I call him, Walter Blaze, just give these videos a look see, you will appreciate the boss moves this guy made on a regular basis from 06-07 on NBA players, and then “somehow” left the NBA and went back to Spain.

In another couple weeks or so, I will find another random player to pay tribute to. Check back in.

Detroit Pistons vs. Dallas Mavericks – Live Take of the Action – 1-26-2014


Detroit Pistons vs. Dallas Mavericks

Live Take of the Action – 1-26-2014

Contribution by: M. Jones

It’s the last Sunday in January which means football is on pause until Super Bowl weekend and network TV is in a lull until new seasons start of anything relevant (i.e. Game of Thrones, Homeland, etc.).  Given that, i have dedicated the next few hours to providing my live feedback and thoughts on the action in tonight’s Pistons game in Dallas.  The Pistons have continued to underperform and have slid down to 9th place in the East, which is just pitiful this year.  Joe D better be enjoying living the NBA GM lifestyle for another few months or so, because this is HIS roster and he should fall on the sword if they miss the playoffs.  After compiling an amazing core for the glory years about a decade ago, he rebuilt the entire team and it has fallen flat on his face.  Year after year, the head coaches have been the scapegoat and taken the fall.  Can the Pistons steady the train and get on a roll heading into all-star break in a few weeks?  That remains to be seen, but let’s start with tonight’s matchup and see how that goes.

Quick Game Notes: The Pistons have been absolutely embarrassing against Western conference opponents over the past few years.  They have only won 2 of their last 42 road games against teams who play in the West.  2 damn wins, that is insane!  That is less than a 5% win percentage, so needless to say the odds are against them.  The Mavs roll out a starting roster of Jose Calderon (hey Pistons fan do you remember this guy?), Monta Ellis, Shawn Marion, Dirk Nowitzki and Samuel Dalembert.  Not exactly the Dream Team.

For entertainment’s sake, let’s say i have some ‘theoretical’ action on the game.  The line leading up to game time is Detroit +7.0 points.  Hey, with that 5% win percentage i just couldn’t justify placing any action on the straight up W.  If the game goes south, i will be tracking that 7 point cushion hoping to get at least some reward for the efforts. 

First Update – 5:39 left in the 1st Quarter – Pistons 14 Mavs 19

Dallas is not missing early, shooting a blistering 82%.

Monroe got off to quick start with the first 6 Pistons points, and still makes me feel that he is not a guy we should be anxious to trade at the deadline. 

Dirk is still MONEY with the J.  This guy has an argument for one of the best PFs ever to play the game, or at least the modern game.  You simply cannot defend his fade away. 

Monta Ellis was a good pickup for the Mavs.  They were smart and waited patiently during the free agent season and were able to avoid overpaying him.  $8.3M for his scoring ability isn’t bad in today’s league. 

Josh Smith with an and one in the post!  Yes in the post, not at the 3 point line where he can’t seem to cross like it an invisible dog fence.  ….. Ok, within one minute he just  fired a 3 off the backboard and missed it.   May be a long game tonight at this rate.

Second Update – End of the 1st Quarter – Pistons 25 Mavs 28

Drummond’s raw talent is very obvious.  It pains me to see him airball a jump hook from 3 feet though.  He doesn’t have much touch at the rim. 

Bucket Man sighting with Singler entering the game, cleaning up nicely on a Drummond miss (after he did his best Shaq full court fast break dribble impression) to cut it to 1. 

J Smooth with another inside bucket, nice to see him looking focused and motivated tonight.  A quick 11 on the board.

Vince Carter with a bucket.  Carter used to be one of the most exciting players in the league, he was able to make the Raptors watchable which is saying something.

This Mavs roster is essentially Dirk and 11 guys who nobody else wanted anymore.  Carter, Marion, Blair, Ellis, Devin Harris and Calderon.

Third Update – End of the 2st Quarter – Pistons 46 Mavs 56 

Dirk with a debatable and 1 bucket early in the 2nd quarter.  He literally got fouled took 1-2 more steps and then went up.  That’s a loose interpretation of the continuation rule.  Come on man, I know it’s the NBA but that was on the floor. 

With a block, J Smooth moves to 6th on the list of active block leaders in the NBA behind Duncan, Garnett, Jermaine O’Neal, Elton Brand and D Howard.  Impressive company for him to be in given his position and age. 

How does Shawn Marion not get blocked every time he shoots the ball?  It looks more like a HS girls shot than an NBA player who has  made it 17 years in the NBA.  17 years, wow that is longer than I thought he has been around.

Talking all-time list updates, Blaha and Co. just hit us with a good one.  Dirk is now 13th all-time on the NBA scoring list.  That is not the active list, but actually the ALL TIME NBA list.  Impressive. 

Dallas has made a strong run in the middle of the 2nd to cruise to a commanding 12 point lead.  Come on Stones, at least cover the spread tonight….

Mo Cheeks looks content to keep a very small rotation tonight, with under 4 to play in the 2nd quarter only 7 guys have seen the floor. 

Dallas has cooled down in the 2nd as a team, but is still above 60% shooting while the Pistons are down at 40%.  Shot selection is the clear reason so far as the Mavs are getting to the rim and the Pistons are settling for jump shots, no surprise there. 

J Smooth stands at least a full step back from the FT line.  Weird, but I assume it’s because he has been throwing up so many bullshit 3s this year, it is now hard to shoot any closer. 

10 point deficit for the Stones at half on the road.  Jennings has been a ghost on the court with only 3 points at the break.  They are also not covering the spread at the moment.  Hope Mo Cheeks has an inspiring half time speech….I won’t hold my breath.  Maybe Rick Carlisle (Dallas coach) can step in and say a few words.  Glad we fired him, because he’s proved out to be a real bust as a coach.


Leading scores at the half – Josh Smith with 16 (only one 3 point attempt) and Dirk with 13.

Fourth Update – Just under 9 minutes left in the 3rd Quarter – Pistons 57 Mavs 58

10 seconds into the 3rd quarter, Josh Harrelson replaces Andre Drummond.  Looks like Mo Cheeks is determined to win tonight….

Quick 6-0 run and it looks like the Pistons have some fight in them today.  After going to him early, the Pistons have gone back to Monroe and he has made a few nice plays in the 2 man game with Jennings.  BJ adds to the nice start with a 3 ball!!

11-2 run to start the second half and it has been cut to a 1 point deficit.  You can hear the excitement in Blaha’s voice. 


Fifth Update – End of the 3rd Quarter – Pistons 81 Mavs 84

Jennings must have heard my criticism at half, as he has 12 points in the first 5 minutes of the 3rd quarter.  He is lighting up Calderon this quarter.

He is in control of the offense right now and is creating for others too with a nice dime to G Mo.  The Pistons regain the lead and erase the 10 point halftime deficit…only to give it away quickly, but you have to like the intensity they brought out of the locker room. 

On a side note, Blaha and Special K are the best local announcers in the NBA.  I watch a lot of games on NBA TV and other places that broadcast local coverage and it is not even close.  They have the ability to make a subpar game interesting. 

As I am watching closely, it hit me that nearly no players on the Mavs roster were players they actually drafted besides Dirk.  Calderon, Carter, Marion, Dalembert, Ellis, Brandon Wright and Devin Harris were all drafted by other teams.  Interesting to see they have been able to remain competitive without being able to develop another home grown star to play with Dirk. 

Pistons have stayed in this game with fast break opportunities and have tied up the score at 77 with about 2 minutes left in the quarter.  Josh Smith just took 4 steps and converted, the refs have the blinders on today for travel calls.

Devin Harris answers with a big 3 to push the lead to 5 with under a minute to play.  Luckily, Stuckey responded with a pair of free throws to cut the deficit to 3. 

Should be a good 4th quarter as the two teams look pretty evenly matched tonight.  Can the Pistons get their 3rd win against the Western conference on the road out of the last 43 (and cover the spread)??  Stay tuned…

Sixth Update – 6 minutes left in the 4th Quarter – Pistons 92 Mavs 101

Pistons still going with a small rotation tonight and I like it.  No wasted minutes for bench players, but the Mavs have run out to an 8 point lead in the first minutes thanks to a quick 5 from Vince Carter and some bad shots/turnovers on offense.

Mavs can’t miss to start the 4th.  Suddenly it is a 13 point lead for Dallas.  10-0 run will be hard to come back from, and this is starting to look ugly. 

The Bucket Man cuts it to 10.  He is earning that game check of $13K tonight.  But…the Mavs cannot miss a 3 point shot.  Not looking good half way through the 4th.  That fight I spoke of in the 3rd quarter may be fading.  Pistons have also missed 10 free throws tonight (just over 50%). 

Jennings coverts on an and one and is trying to will the team to a comeback himself.  Stuckey hits a bucket as well and cuts the deficit to 9.  Come on Stones, cover the 7 points for all the folks in Vegas right now!

Seventh Update – 5 minutes left in the 4th Quarter – Pistons 96 Mavs 101

Dirk goes to the bench for a rest out of the timeout.  Back to back Dallas turnovers and 2 quick buckets for the Stones to cut it to 5.  That is now a 9-0 run.  Quick timeout by the Mavs to calm the team down.  Maybe there is hope after all….

Eighth Update – End of the 4th Quarter – Pistons 106 Mavs 116

And as quick as I started to think this may be a close finish, the Mavs get two quick easy buckets to push it back to a 9 point game.  The Pistons after showing some signs of hope, look like they are going to collapse and fold down the stretch. 

Monroe is the only steady presence this team has on the offensive end, and chips in a nice low-post bucket.  Scared to think what our half-court offense will look like if Dumars deals him.  Don’t look now, but Jennings adds another nice 3 point play to cut it to 8 and the Stones get a much needed stop.  Only to fail at converting it because Josh Smith forces a bad shot….

And the last few minutes are just tough to watch and not even comment worthy.  This game is over and the Pistons let a competitive game go out the window.  They really just shit the bed in the 4th quarter and leave me feeling this guy who is ready to throw down with the pigeon.

Final Thoughts:

The lapses in defense and terrible shot selection at times led to their demise like normal.  That combined with some circus shots by Dirk and an efficient shooting performance by the Mavs was way too much to overcome tonight in Dallas. 

If they keep this up, the Pistons may find themselves sliding out of playoff contention all together. 

Final Notable Stat Lines: 

Detroit – Josh Smith – 25 points and 8 boards, Brandon Jennings – 26 points and 7 assists, Greg Monroe – 20 points and 9 boards

Dallas – Dirk – 28 points (on 10-16 shooting) and 9 boards, Jose Calderon – 17 points and 4 assists, Vince Carter – 13 points

Who the..? What the..?

Contributed by S. Jacobs

This is the sporting equivalent to VH1’s ‘Where Are They Now’, with some Detroit flare.  Enjoy!

Every so often, while journeying through the inter webs, I come across some things that make me say “Dang!”  I’m not talking 4 Girls/1 Cup “Dang!” but more along the lines of Breaking Bad was the prequel to Malcolm in the Middle “Dang!”

I have been debating when to release this guy’s identity.  I thought would be fun to make it a guessing game, but some of the accolades would be a dead giveaway.  So for this particular post, I’m going to be up front about it; this way, when you go “Dang!, I forgot about that guy” you may be intrigued to read on.  Or you’ll be repulsed and/or a true and faithful follower of the obscure.

Todd Jeffrey Duckett.  You may know him better as TJ, Diesel, or more currently, The RainMaker.

Paul Warner
*Not Rick Ross or Kimbo Slice

  You should know his obvious connection to Detroit Sports.  The major one is as a standout running back at Michigan State under the one and only Nick Saban (even if only for a couple years).  Secondly, this dude is from Kalamazoo.  Thirdly, he was the second leading rusher on the Lions in 2007…behind Kevin Jones…with only 2 more RUSHING TD’s than that of rookie Calvin Johnson.  He also has 2 tackles that year; I don’t want to cheat him.

So what has Diesel been up to since the Seahawks released him in 2008?  Well, according to, it’s hard to say.  Although he doesn’t deny that TJ exists/existed, he is now Todd Duckett, “Reborn and Rewired.”  He also has an avatar that resembles a cartoon version of Matisyahu (see below). Todd seems to wear many hats, and has found his purpose in life. Purpose beyond giving MSU slappies a reason to talk about Jeff Smoker; and to that I say “Awesome!”   His new identity “is rooted in personal value, philanthropic dedications, business endeavors, speaking passions, spiritual awakening and overall rewiring.”


Todd promotes his various endeavors via his website.  The first of which is Simple-Ts.  The link on the website seems to be broken, but you can find it with a simple search.  It appears to be a small scale, not for profit printing company.  Nowhere can I find how Mr. Duckett…this is weird, he is, and always will be TJ to me.  Nowhere can I find how TJ is involved with this company, but he reps it real hard.  The second endeavor is a community outreach project called New World Flood.  I didn’t go too deep here.  On some real high level research, the idea is that every flood starts with a raindrop, and that each of us is a raindrop of service and sacrifice.  They seemed to be pretty busy in 2012,  but there has not been much in the media aside from providing Thanksgiving meals in 2013-present. The third venture is Duckett Brother Distributing, where, per their tag line, they “never drop the ball”.  Bare bones, it’s a janitorial supply company that his brother, Tico, founded and TJ later became a partner.

I tried watching a speech of his to some high schoolers, but I didn’t make it more than 2 minutes in.  Maybe I’m quick to judge, but it just wasn’t for me.  Seems like his heart is in the right place and I’m happy there is life after football for TJ.  After the uncovering I did, I feel like there is a piece missing surrounding his exit from football.  I mean, the guy had 8 TDs on 60-odd carries and 170-something yards before a vanished.  He had an obvious role on the field, no major injuries, just 8 years in…

You can find out more about his charity and events from his twitter, @ToddDuckett.   YouTube also provides a myriad of highlight reels and some “Todd” after football as well.

There you have it. Todd “TJ” Duckett is alive and well.

NCAA Hoops: Battle for the Mitten

NCAA Hoops: Battle for the Mittenflag

Forward and Questioning by M. Jones (The referee of this battle per se)

Responses Contributed by Z. Ficht (U of M), A. Fletcher (MSU) and T. Parnell (U of M)

In a Motown Meltdown exclusive, we brought together a few staff writers to provide their thoughts and predictions for the upcoming NCAA basketball game between Michigan State University and the University of Michigan.  I collected the responses seperately in an attempt to prevent this from spirilng out of control.  As you may have noticed by now, some of our contributors are very passionate about their hometown teams, and specifically their love for either Michigan or MSU, but definitely not both.  Some would call them ‘homers’ but I will refer to them as die-hard fans who take no shit and give no mercy.

die hard

These guys draw a line in the sand so straight that GLAAD nearly started an investigation.

When the two teams battle on January 25th in East Lansing, they will be playing for first place in the big 10 and bragging rights as Michigan enters the game at 14-4 (6-0 in the Big Ten) while MSU is at 181 (7-0 in the Big Ten) and ranked high in the polls at #3 in the country.  Michigan also climbed back into the polls at 21 this week, after achieving a rare win in Wisconsin last weekend and following it up with  huge win vs. Iowa on Wednesday.  MSU has serious National Championship aspirations and Michigan has surprised nearly everyone with an extremely strong start in conference play after losing a few games early and also losing Mitch McGary to a back injury.  There is no doubt the fan bases (including the contributors to this post) will be drunk, loud and ready to fuck shit up on Saturday.  Probably the only thing this threesome can agree on is that all fans from the state of Wisconsin SUCK.


Game Information – Saturday on ESPN at 7 p.m. in East Lansing, MI

1 – Biggest surprise player this season:

ZF – Biggest surprise player from a Michigan standpoint has to be the evolution of Nik Stauskas.  I was one of his biggest detractors last year and always thought that Nik was a one trick pony.  But so far this season, the hard work that Nik put in this summer is really paying off. He’s currently the leading scorer in the B1G and has developed an all-around game that allows him to score from behind the arc or off the dribble all while being able to dish the ball down low, allowing easy buckets for Morgan and Horford.

As for state, it’s a no brainer: Sparty the mascot.


I mean this guy is working his ass off. Hyping up the crowd, making the kids laugh, Sparty is really the only Michigan State student doing anything positive for the basketball program. Branden Dawson is breaking his hand on tables and Denzel Valentine is deliberately widening the gap in his teeth for some reason. [MJ Editor Note: I never realized Dawson’s name was spelled Branden….they really need to install spellcheck at hospitals on the birthing floors.  This also applies to Adreian, Zak and Nik.] I’m surprised that Tom Izzo hasn’t murdered at least one of them at this point.  Even with these lackluster jabronies State is trotting out there each night, the Spartans somehow remain undefeated in conference play.


Players and fans alike have that noble, sweaty kid in the Sparty suit to thank for their success.

TP – The biggest surprise for the Wolverines has been Caris Levert. The little talked about guard for Michigan has averaged just over 11 PPG in a starting role after hardly contributing until March last season. His defense is really his calling card but this kid is finding his stroke as well. Working out with Nik Stauskas over the offseason to add weight to his frame has done wonders for Levert. Word of advice for Sparty… don’t leave this guy open around the arc or he is going to make you pay on the offensive side of the ball.

For MSU I’m going to take a little different approach to this and say Branden Dawson, not because of anything he has done on the court though. This fucking moron got so mad at a film session that he slammed his hand on a table this week and broke his hand. This coming right before the biggest game on MSU’s schedule thus far, a game that they’ll most likely be playing without Adreian Payne as well. Way to completely fuck over your team. This surprised the hell out of me this week, but I guess I shouldn’t be that surprised, because… let’s be honest, he’s a Spartan.

AF – Adreian Payne’s performance up until his injury has been a big surprise to me. MSU has been waiting for him to step out of his shell and play at that Big Ten Player of Year level. He won’t win that title as Gary Harris, his fellow teammate most likely will win it, but he has played at that caliber no doubt about it. State brings a different team to games when Payne is healthy. For Michigan, I don’t think they had any players that suprised anyone. They are a under mediocre team that had a bit of a hot streak… “had”.

2 – X Factor(s) in the game:

ZF – Is this the question? Glenn Robinson is the answer. In GR3’s two games he’s played in EL he has scored a total of 8 points. That’s beyond shitty, especially for a player that many consider a future NBA draft pick.  With that being said, the main cause for Robinson’s poor play was due in large part to Branden Dawson; whom as we just mentioned broke his hand fighting the ever dangerous film room table. The door is open Glenn, but don’t just walk through it; close it then kick it the FUCK DOWN! Nik is going to get his and it’s about time Robinson became the consistent dominant force that we all know he can.

For MSU, this one was hard for me.  I really wanted to say Sparty again, he’s just that influential. But for the reader’s sake let’s venture out a bit.  The X factor for MSU is the girlfriends of the players.  Both teams come in undefeated in B1G play and that can put a lot of pressure on the toughest of athletes. Give those same players blue balls and the results are horrific.  Ladies, I implore you give your man some lovin’.  I don’t care if it’s just a simple old fashioned, you gotta release those pipes!

If you want to be at that bitchin after party celebrating a W, I suggest getting to work.

TP – For U of M, the X factor is Zak Irvin. Coming into Michigan as a top level recruit, Irvin got off to a slow start. But he showed in the win over Iowa, that he does in fact possess the skill that made him Mr. Basketball in Indiana last year. He has the ability, skill set and size to compete with the best wing men in the conference. If Zak is on like he was on Wednesday night, Sparty might as well not even show up.

On the other side of the fence, I will go with any of the white boys coming off the Spartan bench. Let’s face it, none of these guys are good. But if for some crazy reason one of them decides to channel their inner Nik Stauskas, then I guess we might have to take notice.

AF – Michigan is the worst rebounding team in the Big Ten, State happens to be the 4th best. With Payne and Dawson accounting, on average, for just about half of State’s rebounds per game, MSU could really give this game away in their absence. As of right now, Branden Dawson is definitely out for Saturday, and we are about 95% sure that Payne is out as well. This changes the way State looks completely, it’s really not the same team. With that said, the X Factor for MSU is Kenny Kaminski and his ability to have an impact on the boards, where he is traditionally not very aggressive. He is averaging about 10 minutes a game but with Payne and Dawson out, he should get around double that, if not a bit more. Kaminski, being a freshman forward, can really prove something Saturday. Again, Michigan is an awful rebounding team, if State can capitalize on that as they would with Payne and Dawson, Green will be fine. In short, for both teams its the boards.

3 – Ceiling for each team this year (i.e. Can they cuts down the nets in April?):

ZF – The ceiling for the Wolverines is as high as that ladder in April will stand as Stauskas and company cut down the nets in Arlington.  Walton, needs to step up his game in order to accomplish this goal, but the way Derrick has fit into Coach B’s system so far anything is possible.

Michigan State however, is lucky to make the tournament. Yes, they currently only have one loss but fuck ‘em. You think I’d ever say anything positive about the green and white? Okay, that ridiculous, this team has the talent and focus to…wait I can’t….just…no.

TP – This current Michigan team is interesting to me and a little hard to read. If you asked me this question a month ago, I might have said, “Give me a tourney win and I’m good”. But with the emergence of some key role players filling in for the injured Mitch McGary, and a number of others outplaying their preseason expectations, I firmly believe this team can make a run at the Big Ten regular season title, tourney title and has a decent shot at a sweet 16 birth. After that, who knows, as we all saw what last year’s squad was able to accomplish when they got hot.

On the other side, the sky is the limit for this MSU team if they are healthy and can stop donkey punching tables. With Payne and Dawson, this is a top 5 team and is poised for a Final Four run. But if these injuries linger, I’d put the Spartans on upset alert going into round 2 of the NCAA Tourney.

AF – I think Michigan fans understand that last year they “captured lightning in a bottle” with Trey Burke. [MJ Editor Note: It is clear from the previous responses so far, that they have not fully accepted this] This year isn’t last year, and I understand that is hard for most Michigan fans to get, but there is absolutely zero chance that Michigan wins a championship this year. They couldn’t do it last year with Trey Burke and Tim Hardaway, how in the hell could they do it without them? For the record, I can even admit that Trey Burke was a beast, and also on the record, I wish the Pistons would have drafted him. That’s all you get though. MSU on the other hand, has a real chance of winning a championship this year, I believe toe to toe, they can hold court with any team in the NCAA; caveat, they have to be healthy. We will have to see how these injuries pan out and we will see where the seeds land on selection Sunday.

4 – Worst characteristic about the other team’s fans:

ZF – The “woe is me” fan base that takes it upon themselves to point out that there are fans who root for Michigan, but didn’t actually go there.  WHAT?!?!?! Those frauds must be killed! How dare they?! A program that actually generates statewide support must be full of assholes, or at least that’s what state would have you think.

TP – MSU basketball fans are the worst. I hate them as much if not more than Ohio football fans, and that is saying a lot. The worst part about them is that they think they still own this rivalry because of what happened in the past. In football, MSU fans always shit on Michigan because the typical Michigan fan will refer to history when speaking of the rivalry. Quit being fucking hypocrites and don’t act like you don’t pull that same shit in basketball. In the past 3 years (right when Michigan basketball started to come back to relevance), the rivalry is split with 3 wins for each team. This rivalry is renewed and no team has “owned” anyone. We’ve been back on your level for a few years now Sparty, so time to step it up and get on ours.

AF – Honestly, there are too many and I am not sure which is the worst. But in the past 5-6 YEARS, Michigan fans have this uncanny ability to still actually believe that they are a superior team in every sport, regardless of how many times State whips that ass. It’s almost like a bunch of crack heads all at once trying to explain to you why crack is the best drug on the planet, but they can’ t understand why more people buy heroin.


Well, apparently heroin is just better. But no one expects a crack head to understand much. Along with this crack head mentality, is the never ending argument of “but what has happened in for the past bazillion years?? hahahahaha”. Fucking morons… Look, Betty White used to be Hot, Goldie Hawn used to be Hot, only a god damn blind person could still think either could compete for a spot on the back page of a hustler or be relevant again. Betty White > Michigan.


5 – Best NBA Prospect on each roster:

ZF – UM – Stauskus. Dude can score from anywhere, he gets over half court and he’s in range. He’s added a great ability to get to the rim and score in traffic along with his defensive skill set. Nik will be an immediate help to an NBA team who needs a scorer.

MSU – Gary Harris.  Harris like Stauskas, can put the ball in the hoop from the parking lot. And he can score of the dribble and possesses great natural ability on the court.  Harris is the main focus for opponents every time they are forced up against the Spartans. Izzo got him to stay an extra year and it appears only to be helping his game become NBA ready.

TP – UM – I think it is a no- brainer here with Glen Robinson III. His athletic ability alone has NBA GM’s foaming at the mouth. He can score from all areas of the floor, and can jump out of the gym. He will be a lottery pick in next year’s draft no doubt. [MJ Editor Note: I am not so sure, I still think GR3 and Mitch will forever regret not entering the 2013 draft as I said at the time]

MSU – Gary Harris, hands down. I’ll be the first to admit, this guy is the real deal. He also wins the title for largest eyebrows, but he is going to have some competition at the next level (see Anthony Davis).


Also a lottery pick, will go higher than GRIII based on his ability to shoot the 3 ball. Probably, a top 10 pick in late June.

AF – MSU – Adreian Payne, if he can remain healthy will be a first rounder. I think his skills transfer well to the NBA. But, I have this feeling that Keith Appling is going to have the better NBA career. PGs that can slash as good as most SGs and SFs are in demand in the NBA, that is Appling. He is definitely stronger than most PGs, but he seems to have committed to being more of a passer this year than in previous years, which is something he had to prove to scouts.

UM – Michigan’s best NBA prospect no doubt is Jon Horford….. sike.  Haha, for real though Mitch McGary is the real deal, he will play and be semi-successful to moderately successful in the NBA…a poor man’s Kevin Love if you will, a real poor man, maybe more like a Kris Humphries but hey that still qualifies you to pound some groupie poon.


6 – Player you dislike most on the opposing team:

ZF – Adreian Payne.  For the simple fact that he is universally loved by every single person who doesn’t root for Michigan.  The fact that he can now bang home the trey ball consistently only makes my disdain for him grow.  Also, I feel that Payne has been on this roster since 2002. It’s time that he gets to steppin.

TP – Adrien fucking Payne. God, he is such a piece of shit. I hope his injured vagina is still cramping tomorrow so I don’t have to look at his ugly mug any more than I should. Have fun clapping it up from the bench you schmuck.

AF – Glen Robinson III, or as the homers call him GR3. He might be the most overrated basketball player I have ever seen. If his dad wasn’t the first overall pick in 94’ draft, who went on to be a great NBA player, instead of playing basketball in Ann Arbor this kid would be playing the buckets outside of Ford Field. I’ve seen my 4 year old nephew get to hoop and finish better than this bUM.

7 – Which teams will finish in the top 3 in the Big Ten this season?

ZF – Michigan, Wisconsin, Iowa – Don’t look down Sparty, it is a long fall.

TP – Is this a trick question? Who the hell do you think I am? This is MEEEEECCHHIIIGGAAANNNNNNNNN

1. Michigan

2. Michigan State

3. Wisconsin (Sorry Iowa, but I still feel like you are going to drop some stupid games like this one at Northwestern this weekend)

AF – Michigan State, Michigan and Iowa (which happens to be the present standings).

8 – Predictions for the game:

ZF – I predict that Michigan will capture the elusive win in East Lansing.  Stauskas will score 25 with 6 assists.  Glenn chips in 17 points of his own and Morgan cleans up the glass with an impressive 13 boards.  It will come down to the wire, but with ice in his veins Nik will bury the clutch free throws needed to get past the currently undefeated Spartans.

TP – With Payne and Dawson nursing sand in their respective vag’s, Michigan holds the clear edge here. Although MSU is definitely talented in the back court, the front court leaves a lot to be desired. I’m not sure where the rebounding is coming from with those guys out. The emergence of “Morford” (Jon Horford and Jordan Morgan’s nickname, I never said it was a good one) will create problems for MSU. Nik Stauskas is going to need to keep up with Gary Harris on the scoring end. But I don’t see Appling and the gang having enough to slow down Michigan’s other offensive weapons of GR III, Levert, Irvin and the PG duo of Derrick Walton and Spike Albrecht. All in all, Michigan will be too much offense for Sparty to handle and put a B1G fucking stamp on this rivalry. Michigan 78 Fuck-faces 67. Sparty off bitches…

AF – State wins 79 – 70 and covers the spread, which is currently MSU -5. FINAL NOTE: No matter what kind of nonsense these two turds spew out before me. Remember this, we are talking about #3 MSU vs. #21 UofM it is clear who the better team is regardless of this game. I want to get this out as well, Flint Stones > The Fab five…. Which one has a ring????

MJ – These guys clearly spit some venom, or should I say ‘hot fire’.

Enjoy the game and thanks for reading!

Detroit Muscle


Contribution by: Dennis Beamer

This Saturday in The Windy City thousands of fight fans will brave the wind and cold to see one of the biggest draws in MMA; a UFC primetime card on FOX.  Among the fighters will be Detroit’s own Daron “The Detroit Superstar” Cruickshank. Cruickshank has been with the UFC since 2012, making him a relatively new fighter to the promotion. Daron is 3-2 in the UFC but has an overall professional MMA record of 17-4. Most notably, he was on The Ultimate Fighter season 15. He was the third pick on the show by Coach Urijah Faber. He fought in the first fight of the season and controlled the majority of the fight only to catch a knee to the chin while going for a take down, losing by knockout.

Since 2012, Cruickshank has had some serious competition in the UFC. He’s fought an MMA veteran in Yves Edwards, and lost by arm bar to an up and comer Adriano Martins who will be fighting on the Main Card this Saturday night. Don’t let his 3-2 UFC record fool you though, this dude can throw down! He is what some people would call the “new breed” of fighter. He is very well trained in all aspects of Martial Arts. Daron is equally good at taking you down, busting you up with some leather or turning the lights out with vicious kicks. He is a tremendously exciting fighter to watch and I would expect nothing less of him this weekend.


On Saturday Cruickshank will be taking on fellow Ultimate Fighter Season 15 alum Mike Rio. Rio will be looking to break a two fight losing streak with a win over Cruickshank. Rio has lost his last two fights via submission so look for Cruickshank to attempt some takedowns. Even with that I am picking Cruickshank to win in the second round via head kick KO.  “The Detroit Super Star” will be fighting on the undercard which will air on Fox Sports 1 at 5pm eastern, followed by the main card which is on FOX at 8pm eastern.

Being a Lightweight Cruickshank will have his eye on the main card. He could be just a few fights away from breaking into one of the most competitive top tens of all weight classes. The main card is stacked with three of the top ten ranked Lightweight Fighters in action.  #8 Donald Cerrone takes on Adriano Martins. #1 Benson Henderson vs. #4 Josh Thompson will be the main event.  #12 Gabriel Gonzaga will take on #8 Stipe Miocic in a Heavyweight showdown.

No doubt MMA fans all over Detroit will be cheering on “The Detroit Superstar”. I for sure will be hoping he shows his opponent what it means to be Made in Detroit.