Tag Archives: PGA

The Dirty Tip #3

Contributions by: The Dirty Birdie

In my last golf tip you saw me using alignment rods, (no that was not pee in the snow).  These are one of the easiest training devices on the market.  If you’re not sure how to use them, watch for an upcoming tip, with ways to utilize these great tools.

Before you can use them though, you need to have a set.  Alignment rods are not that expensive, but if I can save you money, no matter how little, I will.  If you look on golfsmith.com you can find one from Hank Haney.  http://www.golfsmith.com/product/30038855/hank-haney-pro-stix-training-aid For one of these, the cost is 14.99 and you need to have two. So you are looking at almost $30 for a couple things that lie on the ground.  Unless Hanks wife is lying on the ground next to them, Hank can keep um’.

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 Anyone that has every plowed snow has used a drive-way marker. They are markers, so dudes like me won’t tear your grass up, while plowing the shit ton of snow that has fallen this winter. Normally they don’t work for that, but they are effective as alignment rods for golfers. I swear the guy that invented alignment sticks was a snow plow driver, because these things are the same exact material. While Michigan’s winter is still here, do yourself a favor and head to your local hardware store and buy a pair of these. At Home Depot they are $2.29 a piece, for a grand total of a whopping $4.58 before tax.  http://www.homedepot.com/p/Blazer-International-Driveway-Marker-48-in-Round-Yellow-Fiberglass-Rod-381YDM/202498050

You just saved $25.00! Keep reading the Dirty Birdie for more money saving tips that may just save you enough to land a girl like Suzanne Haney. Or, at the very least a lap dance from a girl that looks like her.

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The Wasted Open

Contributions By: The Dirty Birdie

If you’re not a fan of golf, then this weekend was made just for you.  The Waste Management Phoenix Open is unlike any tournament stop the PGA offers.  It all culminates on the 16th hole, which by Saturday and Sunday turns into a frat party/golf tournament/caddie race and dance competition.

I love this tournament because it is what golf is to so many of us.  A time to unwind, have fun and do something that one of our friends will make fun of us for later.

There is a reason why this tournament draws the most fans of the year.  More than 500,000 people come to watch golf here.  Most of them probably don’t come for just golf, but that is what the sport needs.  Not everyone goes to a Tigers game to watch just baseball. They go to have a good time, and at the Waste Management Open, a good time is easy to have.

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Hole 16 is unlike anything in sports.  Nowhere else can you find 4,500 people, plus all the rich folk in over 200 skybox suites, ready to go into fits of uncontrollable anarchy over a golf shot that takes 8 seconds to complete.  Miss the green off the tee, and players take a walk of shame that would make any Michigan State girl feel proud.  Hit the green and the crowd erupts into pandemonium.  Beer goes flying, girls’ shirts come off (not really) and players feel like they are in an actual sports arena.  It is very cool to watch.

The party doesn’t stop when play is over though.  All four nights of the tournament there is a mini rave set up on the course called “The Birds Nest”.  There is live music, topless women (really), and drinks flowing until 2 in the morning, it’s a Snoop Dog video.  This is my ultimate golf fantasy and is what golf needs.  If more tournaments loosened up a bit and catered to the younger professional, golf could gain so many more followers.  They won’t though.  Maybe it’s a good thing, because I am pretty sure if every tournament was like the Waste Management Open, Tiger would go back to fucking twenty girls a week, John Daly would start drinking on the course again, and Phil Mickelson would still be left looking like the creepy old dude that sits across the street from your kids playground.

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